



East Coast Travel Notebook #1
My trip East to SAVE BYSTANDER (and also drink some really astounding wine) (and also...)






Back of the Bus
In December 1955, The Honeymooners was the toast of television. But when the show got political, the sponsors said “no.” Here is that infamous lost episode.




What's the funniest kids' show?
Cast your minds back. Or not. We won't judge.




Second Base
The first time the Holdman Brothers played against each other • by Brian McConnachie and Frank Springer

The American Bystander's Super Bowl Recap
Our intrepid Bob Eckstein watched the game at several NYC locales. Here's his report.


Welcome to Bystander Bracketology
It's March Madness...fill out your bracket by March 21st! Let's fricken' gooo!!!







The Foxhole #4: Eggs Danny Thomas Style
Trigger warnings: Poop, A Nail Through Your Junk, and the Russian Revolution


The Foxhole #3: My Wife's Surprising Secret
Plus Descartes, Hokusai, and Bread Dildos...









Kids’ Advice to Lincoln
In 1860, an eleven-year-old girl named Grace Bedell wrote a letter to President Lincoln, suggesting he grow a beard, as his face appeared too thin.


Say No to A Shock-Jock-in-Chief
We aren't an audience to be catered to. We're citizens, and have a job to do.





Wildlife of New York
Another week on the internet for The American Bystander, with advice from our columnist.








Donald Sutherland is Dead; Long Live Mr. X!
I have no time, but several things must be said.

"Fuck Him And Alexander"
A few thoughts on death, burial, and while we're at it, eternal life too.



What I Will Say to the Three People at My Book Reading
Merrill Markoe addresses her book reading’s intimate turnout (three humans and a pyramid of unsold copies) with grace, delusion, and light hypnotism. A masterclass in literary dignity.











Kids’ Advice to Lincoln
In 1860, an eleven-year-old girl named Grace Bedell wrote a letter to President Lincoln, suggesting he grow a beard, as his face appeared too thin.

Young George Washington
Father, I cannot tell a lie. I chopped down the cherry tree. Also, I’m the one who set the puppies and the kittens on fire. Also, I copped a feel from Aunt Esmeralda while she was pouring tea. Also, I gave Grandpa Arnold turpentine and told him it came from your liquor cabinet.

I feel like a pusher…
Here is an interesting two-part podcast primer on the JFK assassination.









Totally Useless Reviews For the Coffee Pot You’re About To Purchase
A new one from Anthony Scibelli

All the Rules for My Upcoming Cable TV Cooking Competition Show
A simple set of rules, from Jeff Kulik.