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An excerpt from “REMOTE MAN,” the new superhero who helps kids with the hard levels.

Did someone say, "Aw man, what the heck. I cannot beat this level?"

INT. CHILD’S BEDROOM — DAY


SAM: Aw man, what the heck. I can’t beat this level!


A crash is heard. SAM turns around to see that his bedroom wall has been reduced to rubble. REMOTE MAN is standing in the wreckage, hands on hips.


REMOTE MAN: Did someone say, "Aw man, what the heck. I cannot beat this level?"


SAM cheers.


REMOTE MAN sits down and silently plays through the entirety of Metroid Prime. The room around them continues to crumble, as the wall REMOTE MAN destroyed was load-bearing.


SAM: Wow, Remote Man, you're great!


REMOTE MAN: Ha, ha!


REMOTE MAN exits through the destroyed wall and jogs across the street, creating a five car pile-up.


FIN

[EDITOR'S NOTE: The author has been left off this piece; if you wrote it, please get in touch so we can credit you properly.]

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