Devoted Quarantine Cavalcade Reader:
Like so many things—the climate, a person in wet clothes, the cost of a four-year college education—Quarantine Cavalcade is changing.
Where is Mike? Don’t worry. He’s fine.
For now.
But if too many of you unsubscribe, that might start changing too…real quick.
Allow us to introduce ourselves: We’re Adam Chase and Ben Doyle, the editors of Two Fifty One, Bystander’s brand-new daily humor site. Twofiftyone.net features cartoons and short prose from people like Jack Handey, Emily Flake, Evan Waite, and many more renowned Bystander contributors that—we assure you—are positively thriving in the Two Fifty One High-Security Content Production Center. (Please do not ask us where this is. We’ve already explained to the contributors’ families that it’s in some desert somewhere.)
In addition to MG’s occasional check-ins—“proof of life,” as they call it in the hostage-taking game—Quarantine Cavalcade will be featuring recaps of some of that week’s best work from Two Fifty One—some cartoons, a poem, maybe a one-act screenplay or two. We assure you that this was entirely Mike’s idea, and that he came up with it without electrodes strapped to his body. If you’re interested in staying abreast of Two Fifty One’s latest developments, feel free to follow us on Twitter. You can even submit some jokes yourself. You’ll know we’ve accepted your piece when an unmarked van arrives at your door with the good news.
To give you a little taste of what’s to come, here are some of the best pieces from Two Fifty One’s inaugural week. And we’ll see you again this Friday. (Or else.)
Whale Watching Log, 10/9/2020, by Lucas Gardner
A Cartoon by Bob Eckstein
Note to Novelists, by Jack Handey
A Cartoon by Emily Flake
America with Gun Control: a Play in One Act, by Zack Bornstein
A Bouquet of Haiku by Evan Waite
Clicking on any one of those pieces will no doubt provide you a comedic experience so fine and titillating that you’ll start screaming loudly wherever you sit, annoying and frightening your loved ones, BUT, we assure you that they are the merest fraction of the great wodge of excellence already lurking on the site. So click through, get hooked, then go to the homepage and start scrolling.
Sincerely,
Or completely in jest, depending on Federal law as regards felony endangerment of a humor magazine publisher,
Adam Chase & Ben Doyle
Editors
Two Fifty One
