The Grassy Knoll Shooter
The Perfect Beach Day Stabber
The Idyllic Suburb Bad-Doer
The Freshly Mowed Lawn Mauler
The Disneyland On Your 11th Birthday Shanker
The Clock Just Struck Midnight on New Year's Eve And You Go In For The Kiss Impaler
The Watching Your Kids Blossom Into Beautiful Young Adults Butcherer
The Growing Old With The Love of Your Life Homicidal Maniac
[EDITOR'S NOTE: The author has been left off this piece; if you wrote it, please get in touch so we can credit you properly.]
