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Rejection Letters Every Writer Has Received

Rejected!

Thank you for the submission! It was a fun read, but we’re going to pass.


Thank you for the submission! We enjoyed it, but did not think it fit the tone of our publication.


Thank you for the submission! We appreciate being given the chance to read your piece, but it was very similar to a novel by James Fenimore Cooper, so we’re going to have to pass.


Thank you for the submission! We believe you may have sent us the wrong document. This appears to be a shopping list. And just a heads up, those “Wasabi and Pickle” chips at Trader Joe’s are seasonal, so they are likely out of stock.


Thank you for the submission! We enjoyed reading it, but we do think that some of it may constitute libel. We recommend getting this approved by the Lucille Ball and Vincent van Gogh estates before seeking publication.


Thank you for the submission! Although we appreciate that you selected our publication, this piece appears to be incomplete. After the first 36 words, you’ve written [remember to copy and paste the rest from James Fenimore Cooper and change a word or two].


Thank you for the submission! Unfortunately we have a strict minimum word count and your piece does not meet our requirements. For your next submission, we ask that you include at least two words.


Thank you for the submission! We think your piece is perfect for our publication and can’t wait to publish it, Mr. Fenimore Cooper.


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